The Greater Good

When is it okay to tell someone that they shouldn't be with their significant other?  Ever?  Should one just keep their mouth shut and hope for the best?  Should one make snide comments on the side?  Should one talk shit beyond that person's back loud enough for that person to hear and immediately start a fight about how it's not true even though it will nag and eat at that person for long enough that impact might actually be felt?  It's hard to say.  We won't know.  Until now.

Every now and then you run across a couple people in a relationship who are sure to break up.  There's no way it could/should/will ever last long enough to make a difference in each other's lives.  But every so often you're wrong.  Those people end up sticking it out.  They end up getting engaged, get married, buy a house, get some pets, have some kids, etc. (not necessarily in that order by the way).  There's no chance it will last though.....right?  It has to end......right?  What if it doesn't end?  What if they stay together forever?  What if your friend or relative or casual acquaintance never gets to be happy, at least happy as you know it to be?

You must say/do something.....for the greater good.  The greater good is your only chance to make everything right.  To intercede.  To interrupt.  To make better.  Family members are tricky but you have more wiggle room. Friends....we'll get to them later.  Casual acquaintances.....don't worry about it.....not worth the trouble.  But with family members the line is easy to cross but it's usually okay.  They ARE family after all.  You have to take the risk in telling them that their significant other is putting a strain on the relationships he/she has with the other family members.  You have to.  You have to before it's too late, before you have to sit there and take it and piss and moan about until they finally get divorced or die (death can feel like the only escape after a while).  If the family's functionality would be better if that significant other is out of the picture......do it for the greater good.

Friends.....so much tougher than family.  You're risking a lot.  But you're also risking a lot if you don't say anything.  With family you're forced to be around people from time to time.  But with friends you get to choose.  When someone is with a dud and they cut you out because either your friend's significant other is dominating your friend, or because you've tried to intercede for the greater good, or whatever.....you're screwed.  You better make it count.  You better make it work.  If you don't you lose your friend.  If you do and lose your friend at least you tried and didn't sit back and still fuck it up.  Don't take the chance on keeping the status quo and hoping for the best.

"At least he's happy."  "As long as she's happy then we need to be happy for her."  "Love is blind."  All bullshit.  Complete bullshit.  If I was ever in one of these relationships, and maybe I have been (wink), I'd want the people I cared about to tell me I was messing around with something I shouldn't be.  I'd want an intervention.  And I'd want to hear it from a ton of people.....before it was too late.  Sincerely.  I wouldn't want my relationship to be bad for the greater good.  I don't want to upset the balance of the universe, my universe, my family's universe.  Everything should run smoothly.  A well oiled machine.  That's the greatest good.  Rock the boat, tip it over, but make sure it's still in the harbor.  Don't wait until it's 10 miles out to sea. By then the greater good will be lost and you'll be wishing for the good ole days.