It Had To End Sooner Or Later

As of today I am officially on hiatus from posting anything more to the site.  I've gotten about 1000 views on the blog and it's been a journey I suppose.  The support wasn't quite as prevalent as I thought it could have been.  The appreciation was there at times.  The comments were nonexistent.

I might go back and read some of the stuff I wrote.  It will be a good learning experience....I hope.  The next time, if there is a next time, I will be better.  I promise that.  As of right now I'm a little jaded.  It should have been better.  I should have gotten more viewers.  I probably need to be a better writer.  I'm not all pissed off though.  I'm glad I wrote for as long as I wrote even if it was only to prove to myself that I could keep up with something for as long as I did.

Thanks for reading.  It was pleasure while it lasted.

Man Man Man Manly Man Man

Being a man is tough.  A real man.  Not a guy, a man.  Working in a "professional" setting makes that next to impossible at times.  You try to be "masculine" but sometimes you have to be too "presentable" to make that happen.  Boots, Wranglers, and a flannel shirt just don't fit with business casual.  So do you just throw in the towel?  Give up?  Get manicures and facials and such?  No.  But you do have to mix in some femininity to make it work.  Let me explain.

Callused hands, dirt under the fingernails, hair matted to your head, smell like old motor oil....these are things that are unacceptable for the professional man.  You just can't come to work looking and smelling like you just got done cutting the grass.....in the desert......at noon........in a dust storm.......trailing behind an ox.  You must present yourself better, cleaner, and with a little bit of class.  Shower it up.  Fix your hair.  Hands are a tough call.  Lotion is for sissies (no arguments please) but when your hands feel like a wood rasp you need to take drastic measures.  Get them to feel as close to actual skin as you can.  

What to shower with?  Just use your wife's/girlfriend's stuff?  Or use your own?  I go with my own bar soap but it switches quite often with shampoo.  Bar soap is a face and body deal.  No patience for separate and I've read up on how important taking care of your skin actually is, especially on shaving day.  Don't skimp here.  Shampoo....whatever she has is fine as long as it doesn't make you smell like a florist.  Neutral or traditional smells are best.  Don't fruit it up too much.  You'll lose that battle every time when applying for your man-card.

Clothes....come on people.  Look good but not better than your boss.  Keep it simple, keep it classy.  Don't overdo it, but don't underdo it either.  You're looking for understated excellence.  No trend setting at work.  No skinny pants.  Don't have your shirt unbuttoned past the second button.  Be smart about it.  And don't skimp on the shoes.  You come in with some old Peaks like the ones you used to wear in grade school and you'll be sent home, or at least should be.  Dress it up but not too much.  You're not going to a wedding.

Boots can be worn in a professional setting as long as they're clean.  Don't wear your hunting boots to work though.  There are certain kinds that are acceptable.  If people can hear your stomping around the office from 50 feet away you're wearing the wrong kind.  If you're footprint in the boots is twice as wide and long as your actual foot you're wearing the wrong kind.  Slim and sleek is best.  Big and clumpy is worst.  Too sleek and they're no longer boots......they're just shoes that stick up higher than regular shoes.  Acceptable, obviously, but don't pretend that your $300 pair of Italian tall shoes pass for actual manly-man boots.  If they say Red Wing or Caterpillar or Wolverine....boots.  Gucci, Ralph Lauren, and Steve Madden....tall shoes.

Now you're showered up, smell like a human and not a zoo animal, hair is not all ratty and nasty, you've got business casual clothes taken care of, now you have to act the part.  This is hard.  It's hard to not get sucked into the vortex that is the internet.  Tons of things out there to draw your attention away from your manliness.  "Did you see what Kim Kardashian was wearing yesterday?  Who pairs leopard with zebra?"  Or "Holy shit that episode of Grey's Anatomy was good.  Did you see the part where Meredith and Christina...."......no good.  Pay attention to sports.  Pay attention to politics.  Pay attention to current events, even entertainment stuff, but don't get caught up with the paparazzi-type bullshit.  No one wants a man to know which designer's dress Lindsay Lohan was wearing during fashion week.  Don't do it.  Know that she should be in jail but don't really get into the details about why (it's probably prostitution by the way).  The details are for the women.  If you do read about that shit don't tell anyone.  Don't do that to yourself, your psyche, or your manliness, or lack thereof.

Good luck men.  We're all counting on you.  And don't let your offspring wear skinny jeans.  Never okay, especially if you're trying to be a man.