Wednesday, September 7, 2011

No More Jeans Shorts

In the movie "Wedding Crashers" Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson get to have a lot of fun.  They bang smoking hot chicks, eat tons of good food, drink like fish, and have cool alter-egos all without having any consequences until the end.  Was it all worth it to have to wear madras pants and a V-neck sweaters while playing a touch football game?  I'm not so sure.

Never, NEVER, is it okay to dress like that when you play sports.  Never.  It's not even okay to wear that type of clothes when you go for walks.  You have to dress the part.  If you're going for a walk go with gym shorts and Tshirt, or sweatpants and a sweatshirt in the winter time.  You must not wear jeans shorts.  Ever.  Unacceptable.  But people do it.  They do it because they don't know any better.  They do it because they don't care.  They do it because they may not have athletic style shorts.  Stop it!  Know better, care, and dress the part.

When you are away from your house your clothes should reflect your activity for the day.  If you're wearing scrubby clothes with paint on them you're working on something around your house and needed supplies.  You don't wear busted ass jeans, a sleeveless shirt and flip flops to Applebee's.  Don't do it!  Dress the part.  Don't overdo it though and go with the suit and tie.  That's just plain retarded.

Dress the part at your house too.  Be comfortable.  If there's nothing going on, dress like it.  Old people don't adhere to this way of living at all.  Maybe they think at a moment's notice there's a good chance that the pair of Dickie's pant, faded collared shirt, and busted up dress shoes are going to come in handy.  And maybe that's true.  Maybe the wisdom they've collected over the years is paying off and I just don't know it.  Maybe they DO have to leave at a moment's notice and give up watching the John Wayne marathon that they've been watching for the last three days.  Maybe.  I guess I won't know until I'm their age.  But believe me when I tell you this: when I'm 88 years old and it's a Tuesday morning and I've just woken up from my Monday night football drink-myself-stupid-fest at 11:30 AM I'll be wearing a Tshirt and, hopefully, some underwear until I'm told to change into something more respectable......at which point I'll immediately walk out to my front porch and sit on my swing until it's time to eat.  I've earned it.  I'm dressing the part.  Join me.

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