Monday, August 8, 2011

Krypton's Finest Export

There are a ton of superheroes.  They're everywhere.  They started in the comics and have taken over every single type of media there is.  There are original stories, remakes, re-imaginings, reboots, etc.  If you've been alive for at least 5 years you're going to, most likely, know of Batman, Iron Man, and maybe a couple others due to big time movies.  But it feels like EVERYONE knows about Superman.  And why shouldn't they?  He's the coolest.  He's the baddest ass superhero ever.

There are a few types of  superheroes.  Let's break them down into human and alien.  Human superheroes are the ones we can relate to most.  Walking around one day all nice and normal and then BAM......human torch!  They are in need of something to happen to them or have to have some sort of gadgets to be cool.  Peter Parker had to get bitten by the world's coolest spider, Bruce Wayne had to be rich enough to buy whatever he wanted, and Bruce Banner had to have his body chemistry completely altered by a bunch of gamma rays or some shit.  They are human first, super next.  

Aliens are typically normal on their planet but SUPER when they come to Earth, for one reason or another.  These guys are the ones who are more difficult to relate to.  They lack that "realism" that makes the humans so compelling.  They don't screw up as much.  They don't need help from spiders, money or gamma rays.  They do need help though.  They're not perfect on their own.  I don't know much about Thor but it seems like he gets a lot of power because of that big ole hammer.  The Silver Surfer, another I don't know much about, gets his badassery from that killer surfboard, dude.

Superman....oh......he's cool because of the sun.  Yep.  The sun.  "Sure is sunny outside.  Hope it doesn't give me roid-rage."  So cool.  And what powers does he have because our yellow sun kicks the shit out of a busted as red sun?  Just some little stuff like super strength, speed, flight, laser beam eyes, freeze breath, X-ray vision, etc.  If he was invisible and a Jedi (I'm friends with Dave Navarro) he'd pretty much have it all wrapped up into one package.  Just him.  Being him.  Because of the sun.  He's super first, human next.  One nothing Superman.  All you other heroes.......move along, move along.

4 comments:

  1. I was reading something off either Filmdrunk or cracked and they brought up a solid point.
    How does Superman fly fast? It's somthing I never thought about. Normally to fly fast you have to have wing speed or some sort of rocket-booster capabilities. But not superman. He somehow produces power by just lying straight and narrow. I guess you could say the same thing about Neo in the Matrix. But that was the Matrix so anyting goes, because you control that shit with your mind. But how does Superman do it?

    ReplyDelete
  2. No one has anything to say about Schmoop's comments? No one has any ideas?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I always assumed that since he got his power from the sun, his flying speed was that of the speed of light. Could've just made that up though...

    ReplyDelete
  4. So, who would win this fight ... superman vs. a horse? Too soon?

    ReplyDelete