Thursday, August 11, 2011

He's No Margaret Thatcher

A good movie should contain specific things.  A well-established hero, an emotion-evoking villain, a smoking hot chick, a good production, a story the audience can connect with, some sort of musical montage with a memorable soundtrack, a bigger meaning than what's on the screen, and a gratuitous nudity scene.  Many movies pull this off, even the nudity.  But none do it better than one in particular.  It doesn't quite hit all the requirements (not sure anyone is dying to see Talia Shire naked anyway), but come on.....who in their right mind doesn't put Rocky IV in their top 10-20 movies of all time!

Ivan Drago is one of the most badass characters and names in cinematic history.  Blonde, tall, built like a brick-shit-house, roided up, and serene to the point that he's menacing.  He's the antithesis of his opponent, Rocky Balboa.  Rock's just a guy.  Just a guy who made it to the top, had a pinball game made in his likeness, bought a Trans Am, a leather jacket with a tiger on the back of it, and a sweet robot to watch his kid.  The American Dream.  Who knew he'd be the one to end Communism!!!

You guys know the line that did it to.  "If I can change, and you can change....everybody can change!"  In reality Rocky probably would have been dirt napping at this point.  They would have had to do a "Return of the Jedi" deal with Mick, Apollo and Rocky.  Drago was bigger, faster, stronger, and had way cooler stuff.  Rocky was short, slow, strong but not as strong as Drago, and he had to work way harder to have even half as cool of a training montage just to keep himself relevant in the movie.  But he's a piece of iron.  He gets knocked down (all the fucking time by the way) but he gets up.  He usually does.  Apollo Creed couldn't keep him down.  Thunderlips (in the flesh, baby) couldn't do it.  Mr. T did it once....but we all know how that ended up.....rope-a-dope!!!  Drago certainly should have knocked him out.  But Rock wouldn't let it happen.  He couldn't.  He had to change the world.

Communism had spread throughout the world like a plague.  It scared the crap out of people.  Take an American's money away from him and what does he have?  A flag and a garage full of shit.  He needs that money.  Rocky was just the overachiever to keep that way of life.  He went into the belly of the beast and took on the most athletically, genetically and scientifically gifted human of all time.  And won.  And it's because of him we're not speaking Russian to do this day.  And there's nothing you can say to me to change that opinion.


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