Friday, July 29, 2011

Ze Dirty German

Blitzkrieg!  Luftwaffe!  Farfrompuken!  These are words that mean something in German.  Look them up.  Not sure what you'll find.  What am I, a translator?  One thing I know is they sound badass.  They sound mean.  They sound complicated.  That's what I'm looking for in the next phase of US Soccer under our new Fuhrer Klinsman.  Attack, attack, attack.  No room for marathoners, only footballers.  Let's bring in the guys who may not be the fittest, the quickest, the most ready to be nobodies.  Let's bring out the skill, the vision, and the pizzazz.  Let's see some ball movement.  Let's see some poise.  Let's see see a guy take on a whole team like Neymar did the other day (it was freaking awesome. seriously. if you guys didn't see it go to yahoo and find it. unreal. the dude made the run of his life. looked like the Adone circa 1994.)

He may not have done jack so far in his coaching career but the United States loves him.  We wanted him 5 years ago.  We got him now.  I thought about getting his autograph one time but all I had on me was my samurai sword.....and Randy Jackson already signed that.  Missed opportunity.  He's going to be the guy that says, "Hey Brad Davis....wanna play some international ball?  I heard you were good."  And stuff like, "Eddie Johnson.....the dude who scores all the time because all he does is cherry pick....you're damn right he's starting for me over Altidore.  Jozy can't score!"  We're going to find out what it's like to play dirty.  We're going to know what it's like to shoot from 30 out.  And we're going to know what it's like to win.

I'm totally talking out of my ass right now because I have no idea what the hell this guy is going to do.  The players could end up thinking he's a retard.  "Send 9 guys forward on every play?  Are you sure coach?  Did you just get back from Gooch's bachelor party/acid trip through the Amazon?"  All I know is the ho-hum approach that Bradley had is gone.  We're going to have some passion, some excitement, some buzz.....hopefully.  If we don't and US Soccer is in the same situation in 2 years as it is now.........bring on Maradona!!!!!!

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