I'm too tired to wake up. My body aches. My head is throbbing. I feel like my insides are bleeding. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that my legs feel detached from the rest of my body. It's dark outside and still 90+ degrees. It's day 3 of preseason soccer at DeSmet Jesuit High School. It's at this point that I feel utterly stupid for not running in the offseason. I did not prepare for this. Or did I?
For 2 years I played varsity soccer at DeSmet. For 2 years I put my blood, sweat and tears into that team. We were supposed to win State both years. Both years we choked. We ran into Brad Davis my junior year and a pack it in and hope for the best CBC my senior year. Anyway you look at it we should have been better. Never did I think that this was a result of not being prepared.....and I still don't.
I skated by on talent and work ethic my first two years at DeSmet. I started both years in the back. I was even captain my sophomore year. Never ran more than a mile at a time, never more than a couple times a week, during the offseasons. I didn't think it would be much different my junior year but I decided to give running a try. That lasted one run of 2 miles in over 14 minutes. Ugly. I'd rather quit than run. So I sprinted. I ran hills. I bulked up. I was going to make the team because I was bigger, faster, stronger. I hoped I wouldn't get cut because I was out of shape. It's a tough thing to hope against. A soccer player who hates to run......Big Money, at your service.
Every morning for 2 weeks we'd have three practices a day. The first practice consisted of a 2 mile run followed by plyometrics, sprints, and hills. Second practice was nothing but small sided games, skill lessons, and positioning drills. The third practice of the day was almost entirely scrimmaging. I was gassed after the 2 mile run. We were supposed to get in under 12 minutes. That quickly turned into 13 minutes when the coach saw the times. I came in around the 13:30 mark traditionally until it was time to get under 13 or else we ran it again. Those are the days of the blazing fast 12:52s I put up. 2 years in a row. Good thing I planned ahead. Those sprints, hills and quick feet drills I did instead of running all the time sure were easier when I didn't have to run 2 miles beforehand. Had to dig deep just to keep up and make a name for myself.
Over the two weeks before school year started, and the subsequent 2 weeks running more 2 miles before class started, I had run more miles than I ever thought I could. I was still out of shape but only compared to my teammates. I could still outrun them in sprints, still get them on those last steps of the hills, and no one held a candle to me in the weight room.
I had a tough couple years on the team. The attitude of a kid who works hard but not the way the coaches want can be a tough way to go about being a starter. But I was always on the field for the big games and the big moments. Bigger, faster, stronger got me on the team and kept me on the team. Unwilling to adapt to a certain style of play every chance I got the ball at my feet put me on the bench....often. But there's nothing I would do differently. If Ambersley was open he was open. It didn't matter if there was only 2 feet of open field in front of him....he was open. I have ball, I give ball, I enjoy the show, I watch from the bench. Tough couple years. But it was still fun.....and I still wouldn't do it differently.
It wasn't a dream of mine to play pro. It wasn't a goal of mine to be the best player on the field. All I wanted to do was play better than the best player on the field when that player was around me. I wanted to keep the best player on the field from being the best. And I did that.....all but one time that really sticks with me to this day. I got turned around so bad by Brad Davis I get seasick just thinking about it now, 12 years later. But he beat me because he was him and I was anyone else besides him. It wasn't because I was out of shape. I never lost a battle to anyone at anytime on the field because I wasn't fit. My 2 mile runtimes didn't have an effect on the way my game came to be. If a guy was better than me I bumped him early and often. If he was faster than me I made his attitude sour.
I say all these things and remember them the way I choose to because I can. I'm not a coach trying to get kids in shape. I'm not a parent pushing my kid toward a scholarship. I'm not a guy who's looking to walk on and make it big. I'm a former player who played the game the way I liked to play the game.....bigger, faster, stronger than the other guy. And I'll be out of shape until the day I die.......and happy to tell you about it.
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