God Save the Queen

If you ever get some time, like literally 2 seconds, google "Freddie Mercury motivational" images.  Funny stuff out there.  The man has an eclectic following/hatership like none other.  Among the asinine are the true fans' works that are still pissed he died....and it's been approximately 10-40 years (look it up.....gaww) since he died.

Jim Morrison has the weeping 16 year olds at his grave everyday who have no clue what he was all about, what he truly meant to his time and place, or even the cultural impact he ACTUALLY had.  Some of that can be attributed to the utterly awesome/awful movie in which Iceman takes his shirt off and does drugs for a couple hours.  Most just think his message was just so awesome (man).  Stupid.  If you lived through it that's fine.  Weep.  But if he was dead 15 years before you were even born.....find something else to do.  You probably don't speak Greek anyway (the grave really isn't that cool).  But Freddie's fans are different.  They weep in a good way.  You can make fun of them because they can make fun of themselves.  They make fun because it's easy, it's fun, and he's even more awesome because/despite it!

"Freddie Mercury: Gayer than a bag of dicks."  "Freddie Mercury: Even his shadow was FABULOUS."  "AIDS: Enjoy it while you can."  Sure some cross the line.  They're homophobic.  But don't tell me they're not freaking awesome.  The man, the myth, the mustache.

For those of you who don't know who Freddie Mercury is....shame on you.  He was the leader/lead singer of the rock band Queen.  Never saw it coming that he was gay huh?  Queen is one of the greatest rock bands of all time.  That is not a statement of opinion by the way.  Just a fact.  They ruled (get it....queen joke).  And it was Freddie who fueled that awesomeness.  He was epic.  Not out about his homosexuality until it got closer to his death.  Everyone had to know it.  The man wore some crazy shit (google that too....wow).

I once saw a rock n roll/pop rock hierarchy.  It went something like this:
Jester = Lady Gaga
Princess = Elton John (I put Michael Jackson here...but whatever)
Prince = Prince
Queen = Whitney Houston
King = Elvis
God = Freddie Mercury!

When American Idol first started a bunch of years ago my friend, Schmoop, and I came up with a great idea. We thought about the huge rock n roll singers of the last 50 years.  Which one of them would legitimately win American Idol?  Not a chance guys like Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, or even Eric Clapton would make the cut.  The upper echelon got whittled away until we thought of Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin.  The man could wail!  His voice shattered albums.  His range was unique.  Great stuff.  And we sat there for a couple minutes believing there was none better......and then Schmoop said, "Holy Shit!  Totally forgot."  I asked who that could be.  "Freddie Fucking Mercury!!!"  Again silence.  It was over.  Nothing more needed to be said.  "I am Freddie Mercury: Your argument is invalid."